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Trigger #1: Challenge Yourself
Challenge is the whetstone that sharpens the blade of the masculine edge.
In fact, challenge is the driving force behind the success of the human race. From building massive skyscrapers and creating enormous tech companies to starting wars in an attempt to conquer other nations, challenge continually pushes us forward.
Also here’s another fact that’s not very well known: most of our ancestors are women. That means most of the men who lived in history didn’t get to procreate (arguably the #1 biological goal of your life).
Men back then instinctively knew this, so what did they do? They improved themselves, so they would have a better chance to pass on their genes.
They became tougher. Rougher. More mentally sharp. They were the ones who stepped up to the challenge of life and developed a strong internal locus of control. As a result, those were the ones who got laid and had children.
If every man who ever lived reproduced, over-population would have extinguished the human race long ago. Luckily, nature has a built in safeguard for this — “survival of the fittest”. Species that do not grow and adapt are eliminated.
Implementation Guidelines: Take the time to step outside of your comfort zone every day. You’ll surprise yourself with how fast you grow when you begin challenging yourself.
Here’s some things you can do:
- Try a new physical activity (weights, martial arts, rock climbing, etc)
- Begin meditating for 10-20 minutes every morning
- Get up earlier in the morning
- Learn a new, mentally demanding skill that you have absolutely zero background in
- Approach a girl and ask her out
Anything that will smack you out of that default autopilot mode (that you’ve been stuck in for God knows how long) is good.
Trigger #2: Become Self-Reliant
In traditional societies, men were the primary breadwinners of the home. It was rare to use too much outside assistance to help provide for the family. This obviously isn’t the case anymore, but self-reliance is still a heavy part of the male psyche.
Modern society teaches us to be reliant on outside stimulation to feel good about ourselves. For example, we often rely on getting “likes” on social media for validation.
If you want to be masculine, you need to learn how to get approval and validation from within. Use outside help, for sure, but don’t expect it to save you.
Implementation Guidelines: Being self-reliant is not the same as being self-sufficient. No man is an island. You aren’t truly self-sufficient unless you go “off the grid” completely.
Self-reliance only means that you rely primarily on yourself to deliver an end-result (even though you may get a friendly “push” along the way).
Here’s how you can achieve this:
- Accept advice and criticism from others but do your own thinking on all occasions
- Become knowledgeable and skilled in an area that can provide value to others
- Build up an emergency fund or start your own side gig/business
- Learn how to generate positive emotions from within, rather than rely on external stimulus
Trigger #3: Complete a “Rite of Passage”
In many cultures, there is a distinct transition from boyhood to manhood. It is symbolized by a test or physical initiation.
For example, in ancient Sparta, young boys would be released into the wild to fend for themselves. If they returned, they were then christened as men.
In mainstream Western society we have no equivalent test. As you can imagine, this creates tremendous social problems. Lots of guys today are stuck in a state of “suspended adolescence” and don’t know how to progress to manhood.
Implementation Guidelines: You might be thinking: “Well, I’m well past the age of being a teenager. I guess it’s too late?” Not really.
A rite of passage can happen at any time. It’s never too late to become “a man”.
Rites of passage typically need a clear demarcation point saying “Before, I was a boy. Now I am a man.” For example…
- Taking a solo trip across the world into unfamiliar cultures
- Moving to a place very different from where you grew up
- Completing a series of challenges for X number of consecutive days
- Being able to perform a hard-to-master skill that takes time and dedication to achieve
The tougher and more mentally challenging, the better.
